Category: Personal Development


Are you still rereading the title thinking I’ve lost it for good this time? 😛

Check it out here.

The site is just plain awesome masha Allah. A very much needed Muslim version of “Ask Abby”.

Thanks for posting about it Sarah, otherwise I wouldn’t have found out such a marvelous yet sincere place existed. May Allah bless the writers with jannatul ferdows and impacting words that will get others there as well insha Allah.

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We’ve all heard it before:

 “Don’t leave the milk out for too long, it’ll spoil!”

or

“Why is the milk still on the table? I told you, it’ll spoil!”

or

“How many times do I have to tell you?! Put the milk in the fridge!”

or

“Hello? Are you listening to me?! Heeellooooo???”

Or maybe just the first one…

Point is – If you leave things waiting for too long, something bad’s bound to happen. Keep that in mind for later.

I heard a gem of a statement the other day while listening to the Fasting & Furious lecture by Shaykh Muhammad Alshareef. It was,

“We don’t need motivation to do the things we love. So what’s holding us back from loving the Qur’an? From wanting to pray taraweeh? From loving Allah?”

(Pretty powerful stuff that I think says enough on it’s own but I gotta ramble so…)

Nothing holds us, or should I say me personally, back from logging into my gmail account to chat. I don’t think twice before doing things that I enjoy. 

But what about those things that we should enjoy and are just putting to the back of our minds, for comfort’s sake? For that, I think we’re all in need of re-evaluating our priorities every once in a while. What’s really more important to us? Maybe the reason behind our excuses of ‘I don’t have time’ or ‘I’m too tired’ is simply because, well, as painful as it is to admit it – maybe we just don’t care enough. Once you get to the root of the problem and fix it, the rest will be history insha Allah.

And what about those things that we don’t enjoy but really should get done with already?

Ahh the perils of procrastination… I could probably write a book on that topic, simply based off of all the times I’ve fallen into the habit and got myself into holes deeper than I could climb out of, and done it again. But I won’t. Instead, I’ll share a tip a special person once shared with me:

“For all the things that you hate doing, just imagine if you died today. Think of who would have to do the task after you. How do you feel about that?”

For example, let’s just say a certain someone has been putting off cleaning her room (yeah, okay fine, it’s me again). Imagining someone else coming to tidy up my room, picking up all my clothes off the floor, putting everything away, etc. after my death scheduled in 24 hours (which is already scary by itself!) is enough to make me snap out of my chair and pick up the vacuum cleaner.

Where in your life do you have milk waiting to be put away? And if not now, when are you going to do it? Remember, you’ve got 24 hours. Maybe.

 

What’s Down Aisle 6?

Bismillah alrahman alraheem

Below are my notes from a session by Heba Alshareef through HabibiHalaqas from a while back. InshaAllah you’ll find them of great benefit.

Answer the following questions:

What am I afraid of?

What has fear of X stopped me from doing?

If I was guaranteed success, this is who I would be…

If I was guaranteed success, this is what I would be doing…

If I was guaranteed success, this is what I would want to leave behind when I die…

All fear lead up to the phrase, “I fear I can’t handle it!” – whether it’s killing a centipede, giving a talk to a crowd, diving off the high board, or something else – if you can overcome this phrase, you can face anything. The cool thing is, it is in your blueprint, the inner structure Allah formed you with, your fitra, that you *can* overcome whatever ‘it’ or ‘X’ is. How can I be so sure?

لا يكلف الله نفسا إلا وسعها

Allah does not burden someone with what they cannot bear.


And so keeping that in mind, NO MATTER WHAT COMES YOUR WAY, YOU *CAN* HANDLE IT!

Try this exercise:

Wake up in the morning and ask yourself, “If I banish fear from my day today, what would I have to do so that at the end of the day I feel outstanding?

Ways to overcome fear:

1 – Put a desperation on top of your head and that will inspire you to banish your fear!

Over and over again we are told of how important having a purpose is. Purpose is key. Purpose is everything. Purpose, purpose, purpose! (If you continue to repeat the word it starts to feel weird on your tongue, doesn’t it? :P)

Imagine the father of an ill child who is in need of a million dollars for a dire operation.  Now think of a man who simply wants a large sum of money. Who is more likely to get what they want?

Similarly, give yourself a purpose next time you fear of doing something. For example, “If I don’t raise my hand and tell Mr. Teacher I don’t understand a word of what he’s saying I’m going to fail the test on Friday, and if I fail, then goodbye laptop because Mama and Baba will get angry if they find out my mark and once they do then they’ll take it away, and I might as well say goodbye to scholarships, and without scholarships for school I won’t get an education, and without an education I’ll  – …” Need I go on?

Your case may be “scarier” than my confused student one, but the principle still holds true – the greater your purpose, the greater your motivation, the greater your results.

2 – Picture someone who has done what you are about to do.

Imagining someone who has done what may seem impossible to you will give you confidence that you can do it too. Next time you are about to give that public speech, imagine a famous speaker up there with you holding your hand and cheering you on as you are about to speak.

3 – Hit the mute button on your negative thoughts and the negativity coming from those around you.

Sometimes we are the biggest critics on ourselves. And sometimes we aren’t. Just press mute.

4 – Take on a role.

No longer are you shy Rayaan afraid of what others think of you and your hijab, veiling your hair; instead you are Aisha radiyya Allahu ‘anha, bold and courageous to speak out for the truth. No longer are you Alaa, heart fluttering inside, about to take the first step into your new school; you have stepped into the role of Princess Jasmine, confident and risky.  Who will YOU be? How would your chosen character act? Embrace the role.

Last, but not least…

Think of why you can’t do what you want to do. If you can banish a certain fear that you have that is blocking you from doing something you really want to do (that was repetitive :P) – what would it be? What is limiting you? Why is it preventing you from doing things? Fast forward your life five years into the future and imagine yourself living life, still carrying that fear along. Ten years. Twenty. Sensing the pain?

Aisle 6

Wrap-up:

Whatever happens, I CAN handle it and Allah WILL take care of it.

Think of Hajar’s story! She knew what to think so she wouldn’t be afraid and despair in her situation. Today, we trace our lineage to her son. We wait the day to trace her steps between safa and marwa. She had the guts – the courage and wisdom to know where to place her trust…

What would happen if you were taught by Hajar?